•  A hiring manager asks a job candidate, “When do you find you’re most productive?” The candidate responds, “When the bills are due.”
• “I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s really something I could see myself doing.”
• “I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.”
• What superpower would you choose if you had the chance?

Mike Simpson Tips: You shouldn’t choose invisibility as your superpower when you answer this question. You may come across as sneaky or untrustworthy if you say you want to be invisible, even if you don’t mean it that way.

• What is the most common job of spiders? → Web designer.
• Why was the scarecrow hired? → His field of expertise was outstanding.
• Interviewer: “Why do you want this job?” Candidate: “Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.”
• My boss told me, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Wonder Woman.
• A recruiter asks a candidate, “What’s your biggest weakness?” The applicant replies, “I don’t know when to quit.” “You’re hired.” “I quit.”
• What do you consider yourself to be: a hunter or a gatherer? If so, why? → A hunter comes to mind when you picture someone who is quick and strong. They will look for something far off in the distance and move quickly. The hunter will notice minor differences in the landscape to find a hunting location. Visualize a gatherer as someone who is meticulous, slow, and deliberate.
• When interviewing a job candidate, a recruiter asks, “How long have you been in your last position?” –> In response, the applicant states, “My biggest weakness is listening.”In response, the applicant states, “My biggest weakness is listening.”
• Job applicants were asked, “What are your main strengths and weaknesses?” –> I think I have a weakness regarding reality,” he said, “so that would definitely be my main weakness. It’s sometimes hard for me to tell what’s real and what’s not.”
• I went for an interview for a job today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who’s responsible.” “Well, I’m your man!!” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
• The boss asked, How do you perform under pressure? The man said, Well I try my hardest but I always end up singing “Ice Ice Baby”
• The interviewer asks: “So, do you have any special skills?” Man, pulling a dead hamster out of his pocket: “Taxidermy!” Hamster: “And necromancy!”
• A millionaire was asked in an interview the secret behind his success? He replied, “Well you see the first million is always the hardest to make, so I started from second”

• I overflowed a cup of water during a job interview yesterday. “Nervous?” asked the interviewer. I simply replied “No, I always give 110%”